impossible

OK, so I have left it all day before posting about this morning’s run – because I was annoyed, disappointed, and generally not in a particularly positive place mentally afterwards… The picture below was taken in the last 3 or 4kms – by which time I was walking, frustrated and annoyed. Hence the face LOL.

not_happy

The instructions were to run 1.6k at a relaxed pace, then ease into a pace I felt I could hold the full distance, then a fast finish over the final 1k at a pace between 5:50 and 6:20…

Even before I got there, I had it locked firmly in my mind that I could hold between 6:45 and 7:00 – after all, 7:00 per km is what I aim to be doing at London… The problem is, I’m only a few weeks into the training, ran a 5km PB yesterday, and really shouldn’t be pushing this body as hard as I have been on long runs. Not yet, not outside of actual events…

All my long runs so far have wound up with issues that have led to walking being a feature of my run – including the 16km race last weekend!

Reality is, what I should have been doing today was just “plodding”, just running at a relaxed pace, taking in the beautiful scenery that I was running by/through (it was incredibly peaceful to be running by the still waters of the Swan River at 5am!) – the focus should be building up distance/endurance and leaving any concerns about pace to the speedwork and other specific drills (like the long run fast finish).

The run went GREAT for the first 12km, and as always I believed I could hold it the whole way around, and nail the fast finish too. I hit some steep steps and a hilly section between 9km and 12km, and then 12km to 15km as I simply turned around at the 12km mark and returned the same way.

At 16km I walked while taking on board my first gel, and slowly built up pace after that. At 19km I walked for my second gel – but I simpy couldn’t get going again…

Now you may remember that before Christmas I was doing quite a lot of core/abs work, and recently I stopped doing another abs challenge because I thought there was a muscle strain, and I needed to rest it…

Well I think somehow I have pulled the very end of the abs muscles, down towards the pelvic area – it has been hurting on and off for a little while now but I’ve been waiting for it to get better… it doesn’t usually hurt, just of I cough, or twist, or jar it – and of course, pounding the pavement jars it!

Usually I get warmed up and it goes away, but today at 19km I couldn’t get going again; the abs/pelvic/groin pain stopped me from running.

As I was walking I was telling myself that it was a good decision, that it was best not to push it, let it rest and heal etc. But I walked about 4.5km and at some point I started beating myself up over it. Was I just a wuss? Was this the sort of thing that differentiates between people who give up and those who don’t? Wasn’t it just one of those things you’re bound to get running – a bit of aching, “a good hurt” sort of thing?

I started to worry whether I was simply breaking down mentally and physically – that yes I am able to complete a marathon, but slowly. That I really am a plodder, and my body was simply breaking apart because it wasn’t up to this extra load I was expecting of it… and perhaps I wasn’t mentally tough enough either…

By the time I got to the other side of the Narrows Bridge, I was convinced that I would put in the 1km fast finish Jackie had asked for – that there was no way I was giving in – that was “old behaviour” and it wasn’t going to come back ever again… that idea seriously scared me!

I tried running, but by now I had seized up even more through walking, though I did manage an intermittent and gentle jog. With about 500m to go I found the ability to push on, and even got the pace to around 5:30 at one point (not on purpose!)

When I was stretching at the car, I was angry, I was upset, I was so so frustrated – I chugged down my protein drink, some water and just walked around for a while, calming down.

Fate intervened – I received a tweet from the Heart Foundation, asking if I was willing to be interviewed by a TV news program to do with the increased obesity in Aussies headline the HF had been putting out. So that meant I had a phone call to make – and talking to another human forced me to “normalise” a little.

I said OK to the TV thing, but it didn’t happen in the end – maybe one day 

I then sloped off to Zucchero for my post-run fruit salad, coffee, juice and water. By the time I left there, had chatted to a couple of people and started to recover – I was feeling happier.

I got home, showered, uploaded my stats, looked at the stats and got a bit down again – I gave some feedback to Jackie of Fit Sparrow, and then had a nap.

The nap did the trick – I woke up feeling refreshed – though when I sat up I winced! Sit-ups are definitely out for a while!!

Jackie had given feedback by now – and it was spot on, reassuring, and totally awesome. Thank you Jackie!

So I now have a rest day tomorrow instead of hill repeats – though I do have an appointment for a running style analysis at midday – not sure how that will go!

Anyway, the moral of this story is that you shouldn’t believe your own hype – I can’t be superman on every run, as Jackie said… for long runs you need to be more Clark Kent LOL.

and it all goes back to the post I made this morning – perspective… at the end of the day, I ran this morning, yeah sure it was the suckiest long run to date – but first world problems much?

and you know what – it also harks back to what I was saying to Kelly of Bright Pink yesterday – it’s all a learning experience – I learnt a LOT today, and for that I am very grateful.

Now I am just keeping my fingers crossed that this ab muscle pull thing isn’t going to take too long to heal and/or interfere with my running too much – I’ve got a marathon to enjoy in 7 weeks!!!!

Stats:

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/449649026

http://www.strava.com/activities/115347809

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